Dear Advice Columnist probably named Abby or Agony Aunt:
I am at a precipice, and this is why...
Okay, so I am presented with three meals. They all look spectacularly delicious and will put me into a coma and give me the itis like NO OTHER, but I cannot have all three, even though that would be fantastic. I'd probably gain ten pounds and look as if I was ready to squeeze out some twins, but it's still possible. Nontheless, I can have two of these wonderous gifts from the universe. First, there's the pizza with it's cheesy cheese, spicey tomato sauce, array of meats toppings, and the doughy goodness termed crust. For desert, there's cookies. Tons and tons of cookies. I can also have the deluxe bacon cheeseburger topped with bacon (obviously), tantilizing mushrooms, ketchup, mayo, lettuce, and tomato. What's for desert you ask? Well, Good 'ol chocolate cake! That's what. Lastly, I can have the spaghetti with meatballs, with homemade red sauce and celery and peanut butter for dessert. If you know anything about me, you'd know the first two options are my most favoritest meals ever. Ever, you guys. Evveerrrrrrrr. The spaghetti is also a favorite of mine; however, it lacks in comparison to it's counterparts. You're probably thinking to yourself that there's no competition at all. For one, there's cake. Who in there right mind denies cake?! Also, if the spaghetti is inferior to the pizza and deluxe bacon cheeseburger, why even reflect on the dilemma? You have your answer, fool! But, here's the problem. While the pizza and deluxe bacon cheeseburger are both extremely pleasing and desired, the spaghetti seems to be more lucrative. I mean, it's much more healthier. It has presence. It has personality. Annnd you can twirl it all fancy like around your fork and slurp it at the dinner table and annoy the hell out of everyone! This is where the problem lays though. Do I pass up the opportunity to scarf down one of my favorite meals and replace it with the spaghetti? Solely because it has the potential to be more lucrative. Or do I remain faithful with what I love and enjoy, for it will bring me the greatest pleasure of all, kinda like that pleasurable experience I had when I read the last sentence of Breaking Dawn and was like, "Thank you gawwwd for ending this wretched concoction of trite motifs, elementary vocabulary, self-destructive teenagers, and polyamorous relationships involving creatures of the night, creatures of the moon, and palefaces. Thankkkk you."
You've probably deduced that I'm not truly talking about food. This post is all about career opportunities and the education that is involved. At the moment, I am attending nursing school. I am almost finished the curriculum; however, my interest and desire of the field dwindles every day. If I do stick it out, I will not only have a very prosperous career that will present me with a number of venues, but and I can also make others refer to me as Florenco Nightingale: the new and improved, while also darker and manlier version of Florence Nightingale. Why settle though? Why continue down a path that I know is going to bring me misery. I mean, how could I, a being who loves the arts and intellectual conversations about Thoreau and the latest gadgets, be content with cleaning up poopie and treating infections.
I have always had a passion for English and computer science (English represents the pizza and computer science the deluxe bacon cheeseburger). I can see myself performing as an English and Computer Science teacher. I can see myself embracing the role of a publisher or a literary agent. I can see myself working in a career that revolves around computer programming or graphic design. I dream about these jobs daily. I covet these dreams more than I covet a sex slave that plays the piano and violin. However, there is the possibility that I will not have a fruitful career with these majors. There is the possibility that I will not make it through the course load. And if I am unhappy after pursuing English and Computer Science, I will be incensed because I could have just been unhappy with nursing, a job that would have allowed me to experience various atmospheres and still collect a substantial salary.
What should I do?
-Gloomy and Perplexed, xoxo
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